urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove your feeding your ego your feeding your ego 2009-02-17T21:22:05Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:67051 2009-02-17T21:22:05Z 2009-02-17T21:22:05Z So today I came across a blog on the internet which is about VHMET which stands for the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. As the name indicated, this movement is about humans not reproducing for the benefit of the environment. Although at first glance I thought wow, if people knew about this maybe our population growth wouldn't be such a concern, after thinking for a minute I realized, most people don't give a shit about the environment. It is in human nature to want to get married and have children, but for environmentalist out there: are uou taking this into consideration? People involved in this movement say that instead of having our population grow and grow and eventually&nbsp;provoke an extreme disaster such as a plague or superbug that wipes us and other species out as well, we will go quietly with VHMET. I do believe that the ideas behind this movement are well thought out, however for us to not have such a large impact on the environment we don't need to go extinct. It is thought that having 500,000-1,000,000 people on earth would be the most beneficial population to try to not harm the environment. But population is not the only concern. If all humans lived like we do in Canada and the US then our planet would already be obliterated. However if we learn to have less energy needs and more care for conservation AS&nbsp;WELL&nbsp;as our overpopulation, there is no need for human extinction to be voluntary or occur in the near future. If our governments could start worrying about the planet as much as they worry about the war in Afghanistan or our economy, then our planet would already be on the road to recovery. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:66768 2008-06-23T02:58:24Z 2008-06-23T02:58:24Z so this week was kinda crazy<br />i havent really done anything&nbsp;<br />but so much stuff has happened<br />i slept over at ed and marys on&nbsp;thursday and sat with grandma almost all night<br />shes just skin and bones now, its fucked up<br />and it seriously just reminded me of the line<br />"love is watching someone die"&nbsp;by death cab<br />it was so sad but i knew i shouldnt cry infront of her<br />because even mary and her nurses were saying she&nbsp;doesnt feel&nbsp;ready to die<br />and that shes scared<br />so&nbsp;i didnt really want to be all emotional infront of her<br />giving her more of a reason not to want to go because we're not ready to let her go<br />if that makes any sense....<br />then on friday i did a drive with my mom to hamilton and ended up taking the kids to the hospital for an appointment<br />which was also fucked up<br />cuz it was the same hospital austin was at,<br />the same hospital we spent a month at<br />and my mom and i walked off the elevator and froze<br />an audible "woah" actually came out of my mouth<br />because neither of us has been back there....<br />it was just really weird,<br />brought back a wave of feelings<br /><br /><br />on the up side, im quiting smoking<br />and high school is FINALLY done<br />and im oddly happy for once, even though its not the right time to be<br />but there is reason to be urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:65677 2008-03-05T04:11:06Z 2008-03-05T04:11:06Z <p>its just a prospect<br />but i cant stop thinking<br />about if its hopeful<br />or not<br />and i definitely<br />hope i dont<br />fuck myself over<br />there<br />but ive made up my mind<br />and i hate waiting<br />did i mention that im<br />the most<br />impatient<br />person you will ever meet?<br /></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:65346 2008-02-29T03:06:37Z 2008-02-29T03:06:37Z <p>why are you so confusing<br />why cant you make up your mind<br />because i do want to move slow<br />since im afraid of crashing into a wall<br />full speed<br />i dont know where were going<br />so how could we move fast<br />you need to make up your mind<br />i understand where you're coming from<br />but for once<br />i'm actually glad that<br />im not the one confused<br />i wish there<br />just wasn't any confusion at all<br />i wish things could be simple<br />but whats ever simple these days?<br /></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:65085 2008-02-16T20:06:18Z 2008-02-16T20:06:18Z <p>&nbsp;1. First thing you wash in the shower?<br />my hair or face</p><p>2. What color is your favorite hoodie?<br />grey</p><p>3. Favorite coffee?<br />tims double double</p><p>5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?<br />alrite</p><p>6. Whats the last letter of your crush’s name?<br />n</p><p>7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?<br />if i had ever said it id say aim</p><p>8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?<br />it involved me being drunk but i dont really remember anything else</p><p>9. Could you eat your favorite food everyday for a month?<br />obviously</p><p>10. What are you craving?<br />sushi</p><p>11. Do you floss?<br />no</p><p>12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?<br />your mom</p><p>15. Would you dance with me to the taco song?<br />id dance with myself</p><p>16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?<br />no</p><p>17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?<br />lick it</p><p>18. Do you use smilies?<br />too much<br /><br />20. Have you ever met a celebrity?<br />i dont think so</p><p>21. Do you like cottage cheese?<br />no</p><p>22. What’s the last song you had stuck in your head?<br />low, ew</p><p>23. How many countries have you visited?<br />i think 7?<br /><br />24. Are your parents strict?<br />no</p><p>25. Would you go sky diving?<br />yah man, when i turn 18 this summer!</p><p>26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?<br />fuck no</p><p>27. Would you throw potatoes at him?<br />yah</p><p>28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?<br />a shiny gift box</p><p>30. Do you rent movies often?<br />no</p><p>31. Who sits behind you in your math class?<br />Laxy!!</p><p>34. Can you count backwards from 74?<br />yes</p><p>35. Where are you going to be Saturday night?<br />i dont know what im doing tonight</p><p>36. Brown or white eggs?<br />neither</p><p>37. Do you listen to rap?<br />some</p><p>38. Ever taken a train?<br />go-train lol</p><p>39. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York?<br />from my tv</p><p>41. What day of the week is it?<br />saturday</p><p>42. What was your lunch?<br />breakfast at 12 - chinese food</p><p>43 What is your best friend doing tomorrow?<br />probably sitting on her ass cuz she has no life =P</p><p>45. Ever have cream puffs?<br />huh?</p><p>46. Have you ever seen the Butterfly Effect?<br />yes</p><p>47. So, how about them Yankees?<br />there pretty sweet</p><p>50. What is your bus number for school?<br />infinity<br /><br />51. Is your hair curly?<br />yes<br /><br />52. Last time you cried?<br />iuno</p><p>53. Ever walked into a wall?<br />yes</p><p>55. Have you ever bought anything from PacSun?<br />i dont think so</p><p>56. Are you currently wearing socks?<br />yes</p><p>57. Favorite time of the year?<br />summer/fall<br /><br />59. Are you a generally happy person?<br />yes</p><p>60. Are you wearing jeans?<br />no</p><p>61. The next person you’ll hold hands with?<br />iuno</p><p>62. Do you sleep with the TV on?<br />only when&nbsp;i pass out</p><p>63. Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle?<br />yes</p><p>64. Do you think you’re old?<br />no</p><p>65. Are you afraid of the dark?<br />only after scary movies</p><p>66. Do you like your life right now?<br />could be better</p><p>67. When’s the last time you chose a bath over a shower?<br />a few months ago</p><p>68. Do you knock on wood?<br />sure</p><p>69. Do you have good vision?<br />yes</p><p>70. Is he hot?<br />fuck yes<br /><br />71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?<br />probably not</p><p>72. Do you have a job?<br />yes</p><p>73. Describe your best friends?<br />there crazy</p><p>74. What brands are you wearing?<br />who wears clothes these days</p><p>75. Can I tap that?<br />if you dont say tap that then yes</p><p>76. Have you ever crawled through a window?<br />yes<br /><br />77. Can you handle the truth?<br />yes</p><p>78. What was the most recent thing you bought?<br />alcohol</p><p>79. How often do you talk on the phone?<br />not a lot</p><p>80. Are you in a complicated relationship?<br />no</p><p>81. Do you hate more than 3 people?<br />hate is a strong word</p><p>82. Have you ever tripped someone?<br />yes</p><p>83. Are you sarcastic?<br />yes</p><p>84. Have you ever slapped someone?<br />yes</p><p>85. Hey?<br />grey</p><p>86. Do you use chap stick?<br />yes</p><p>87. Are you too forgiving?<br />yes</p><p>88. Do you own something from Hot Topic?<br />no</p><p>89. Do you own a gun?<br />yah its tucked into my pants right now?</p><p>90. Have you made a prank phone call?<br />yes</p><p>91. Have you ever been in a castle?<br />yes<br /><br />92. Do you like your hair?<br />meh</p><p>93. Do you like yourself?<br />yes</p><p>94. Are you closer to your mother or father?<br />father</p><p>95. Do you chat on AIM often?<br />never</p><p>97. Do you want anyone?<br />yes</p><p>98. What's the closest thing to you that's red?<br />a dictionary =S</p><p>99. Does your crush comment your myspace?<br />no</p><p>100. Do you comment theirs?<br />no</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:64278 2008-01-04T05:09:06Z 2008-01-04T05:09:06Z im so unhappy with myself lately<br />and i do nothing to make it better<br />to fix the things i wish i wasnt losing<br />i dont even care enough anymore<br />about anything<br />this is the wrong time to screw up<br />and i feel myself sinking lower and lower<br />each day<br />and it makes me a bad person<br />i wish i was enjoying myself<br />but this charade has gotten old<br />and i have no clue what i want<br />other than what im fucking over urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:64108 2007-12-04T23:54:24Z 2007-12-04T23:54:24Z <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="1" align="right" summary="" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" summary="" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td align="center" bgcolor="#ffffff">&nbsp;</td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table>1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?<br />bad hair day<br /><br />2. How much cash do you have on you?<br />20?<br /><br />3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"<br />whore<br /><br />4. Favorite planet?<br />uranus!<br /><br />5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?<br />cell phones are a sell out!<br /><br />6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?<br />my cell phone....<br /><br />7. What shirt are you wearing?<br />a long sleeve striped one?<br /><br />8. Do you "label" yourself?<br />definitely not<br /><br />9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?<br />converse<br /><br />10. Bright or Dark Room?<br />bright =), but one wall is black with green polka dots<br /><br />11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?<br />shes pretty sweet<br /><br />13. What were you doing at midnight last night?<br />i felt really sick in bed =(<br /><br />14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?<br />my cell phone.....<br /><br />15. Where is your nearest 7-11?<br />no clue lol<br /><br />16. What's a word that you say a lot?<br />alritey lmfao, i wish i didnt<br /><br />17.Who told you he/she loved you last?<br />probably erika since i just said bye to her<br /><br />18. Last furry thing you touched?<br />my jacket lol, NOT REAL FUR<br /><br />19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?<br />none<br /><br />20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?<br />none<br /><br />21. Favorite age you have been so far?<br />probably grade 9 however old i was then, even though i was a faggot<br /><br />22. Your worst enemy?<br />i dont have an enemy<br /><br />23. What is your current desktop picture?<br />ummm some post it notes on a fridge<br /><br />24. What was the last thing you said to someone?<br />no, its an advertisement<br /><br />25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?<br />FLY! i could be famous and make money anyways<br /><br />26. Do you like someone?<br />not really<br /><br />27. The last song you listened to?<br />take cover - acceptance urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:63831 2007-12-01T04:59:34Z 2007-12-01T04:59:34Z <p>uhg not in a good mood, i fuckin hate when this happens<br />im in the perfect setting to have a good time<br />and i fuck it up<br />why do i always have to think about the past</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:63582 2007-11-28T03:14:59Z 2007-11-28T03:14:59Z emotions are weird<br />ive felt so many different ones<br />in the past few weeks<br />that i can't even start to label<br />ive never felt this way<br />and i have no idea what it is<br />its just nothingness<br />and a blank mind<br />staring at nothing in particular<br />i feel whole<br />but its not something that&nbsp;i enjoy<br />maybe its everything mixed together<br />but maybe its nothing<br /><br />brains are fucked<br />i dont know what to do with myself<br />nothing has changed in my life really<br />but im changing anyways... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:63486 2007-11-17T04:42:53Z 2007-11-17T04:42:53Z tonight was probably<br />the gayest night of my life<br />im so sick of high school<br />and high school drama<br />and stupid skanks<br />and people over-reacting<br />about nothing<br />on the other hand<br />just chillin with the beat roaring<br />was hilarious<br />listening to old tunes with megan earlier<br />and getting my tattoo was amazing<br />because now its more permanent<br />that i will always<br />have a piece of you with me<br /><br />today had its ups and downs<br />but overall<br />it was just another day urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:63144 2007-11-12T04:06:36Z 2007-11-12T04:06:36Z that's what you get when you let you're heart win<br />i hate how i only ever see the good side of people<br />the side that i like<br />i hate being one of those people<br />that only see what they want to see<br />even after i know what someones like<br />i still try to make excuses for them<br />and tell myself that they're not lying to me<br />i reallly dont like you right now....<br /><br />P.S. i'm so sad i didn't end up getting my tattoo this weekend =( urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:62938 2007-11-06T02:41:54Z 2007-11-06T02:41:54Z <p>im not even angry at that reply<br />it just makes me wish<br />you could have told me that<br />4 months ago!</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:62552 2007-11-06T02:31:12Z 2007-11-06T02:31:12Z i wish life<br />wasn't about stupid shit<br />problems arise that mean nothing<br />such as school<br />i stress out over everything<br />then remember that its just a number<br />then remember that these numbers<br />determine what i do next year&nbsp;<br />and where i go from there...<br />too much thinking<br />i wish i could just use my time as i wished<br />and not go to school<br />i would be so content with life<br />even if it was a bit boring urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:62208 2007-10-27T02:00:34Z 2007-10-27T02:00:34Z this week is over, i survived urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:62069 2007-10-17T02:24:53Z 2007-10-17T02:24:53Z a month and a half<br />will this ever feel real?<br />or will i keep passing every day<br />not understanding why this happened<br />fuck there being a reason for everything<br />how could there be for death at one and a half? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:61842 2007-09-22T17:12:22Z 2007-09-22T17:12:22Z detah cab And it came to me then that every plan <br />Is a tiny prayer to father time<br /><strong>As I stared at my shoes in the ICU</strong><br />That reeked of piss and 409<br />And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself<br />That I’ve already taken too much today<br /><u><strong><em>As each descending peak on the LCD<br />Took you a little farther away from me<br />Away from me</em><br /></strong></u><br />Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines<br /><strong>In a place where we only say goodbye</strong><br />It stung like a violent wind that <u><strong>our memories depend<br />On a faulty camera in our minds</strong></u><br />And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose<br />Than to have never lain beside at all<br />And <strong>I looked around at all the eyes on the ground<br />As the TV entertained itself<br /></strong><br /><strong>‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room<br />Just nervous faces bracing for bad news<br /></strong>And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads<br />But I’m thinking of what Sarah said<br /><em><strong><u>That love is watching someone die<br /></u></strong></em><br />So who’s gonna watch you die? So whos gonna watch you die<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><div class="ljcut" text="love you austin"><img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v378/Jaimie_44/Austin22026.jpg" /></div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:61557 2007-09-16T05:12:44Z 2007-09-16T05:12:44Z thats just the way it is?<br />i refuse to accept this<br />living as someone else<br />in some else's body<br />living in despair<br />and longing for someone<br />to come back from the dead<br />i can't do this<br />i can't stand this any longer<br />i can't pretend i'm alright<br />while i'm dying inside<br /><br />i can't go on everyday<br />knowing that you're not here with me<br />and knowing that i'll never be with you again<br />it doesn't work urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:61395 2007-09-02T20:54:02Z 2007-09-02T20:54:02Z why does the world around me<br />seem to be crumbling down<br />everything is wrong<br />you're gone<br />and i don't know what to do<br />every second i feel different<br />and why the fuck<br />is the word "dead" so hard to say urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:61150 2007-08-30T05:36:46Z 2007-08-30T05:36:46Z and this consumes my whole life<br />while i just wish i could feel normal again<br />and care about things<br />that normal teenagers care about<br />like boys and my body image<br />do you think i care anymore<br />because you're&nbsp;horribly mistaken<br />i wish that this feeling of lonliness would go away<br />and this feeling that i will never be whole again<br />but i doubt<br />that it will ever cease<br />to consume me<br />even if it's only at times in the future<br />right now, it's all that i have to hold on to<br />in this forsaken life im living urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:60781 2007-08-29T02:55:22Z 2007-08-29T02:58:26Z the pain will not kill you<br />living in your head, without anything to numb you<br />living on the edge, without anything to numb you<br /><br />i cant do this any longer <br />i cant wait for you to die <br />ive already said my goodbyes&nbsp; <br />and your ready to go <br />its inevitable that you will <br />but ill let you take your time <br />ill take as long as i can with you <br />even though it hurts more than anything urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:60596 2007-08-29T02:53:40Z 2007-08-29T02:53:40Z the fray First 8 Months of 2007<br /><br />1. Have you had your birthday yet?<br />yes<br /><br />2. Are you with the same person as you were at the beginning of 2007?<br />haven't been with anyone<br /><br />3. Are you still in the same job?<br />yes<br /><br />4. Is your favorite color the same color?<br />yes<br /><br />5. Have you got the same style/colour hair?<br />yes<br /><br />6. Have you bought a new car this year?<br />no<br /><br />7. Anything exciting happen this year?<br />not worth talking about<br /><br />8. Have you been involved with the police this year?<br />kinda<br /><br />9. Favorite all time drinking place for 2007?<br />cottage and with friends in markham<br /><br />10. Is your best friend still your best friend?<br />yes, multiple best friends are still my best friends<br /><br />11. Got any tattoos or piercings this year?<br />no, hoping to though<br /><br />12. Had a haircut?<br />trim but not cut<br /><br />13. Been in a hospital this year?<br />ive been there the last 3 weeks<br /><br />14. Lost someone you cared about this year?<br />yes, and ill lose another soon<br /><br />15. Been on a vacation this year?<br />yes<br /><br />16. Been in love this year?<br />yes<br /><br />17. Fallen out of love this year?<br />kinda<br /><br />18. Been kicked out of a pub this year?<br />no<br /><br />19. Completed any studies this year?<br />grade 11<br /><br />20. Read any books?<br />many<br /><br />21. Worst thing to happen this year?<br />3 weeks ago<br /><br />22. Best thing to happen this year?<br />one amazing day that meant nothing, and my whole trip to greece/italy<br /><br />23. How many times have you gotten drunk?<br />lost count but many<br /><br />24. Has this year been a good one so far?<br />no&nbsp; urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:60377 2007-08-27T03:53:13Z 2007-08-27T03:53:13Z the beatles <p>this is hard to accept<br />probably one of the worse situations<br />that my family has ever been in<br />or ever will be<br />we were pretty much forced<br />to let go of all our hope for you buddy<br />and waiting for you to die<br />is the worst feeling in the world<br />but im glad we all got to say our good byes<br />and that even though you're not gone yet&nbsp;<br />your not in pain and your comfortable<br />all that's important now is that you know we all love you<br />and im sure you do...<br />i guess we just have to let this be<br />its inevitable now<br />but you've gotta know you'll always be in our hearts bud<br />your my brother and you always will be<br /></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:59918 2007-08-13T23:54:31Z 2007-08-13T23:54:31Z death cab <p>down up down down <u>up<br /></u>this is good news<br />you've done so well buddy&nbsp;<br />im so proud of you<br />and im pretty relieved at the moment<br />because this was alot better<br />than i was expecting to hear<br />i love you so much keep it up aust<br />your a fighter<br />and i wont have it any other way<br />than for you to come out of this<br />your so strong buddy<br />give it everything you've got</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:59681 2007-08-13T17:59:31Z 2007-08-13T17:59:31Z i dont know what to do<br />i know how to act<br />i cant cry<br />i cant relax<br />i cant just sit here<br />i need to do something for you<br />but theres nothing i can do<br /><br />i hate waiting&nbsp;<br />my heart is slowly ripping to shreds<br />and i still cant do anything about this situation<br />i cant do anything to save you at this point<br />why did it have to be him<br />why cant this just be over<br />why cant doctors be patient<br />and why cant reporters fuckin leave us alone<br />im so confused about everything and i just dont know anymore<br />i dread waking up in the morning to hear the latest news<br />but id rather know than sit here in this state<br />just please pull through buddy<br />you know how much we love you urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jaimielove:59217 2007-08-03T05:22:48Z 2007-08-03T05:22:48Z time and confusion-anberlin why does everything have to be so complicated<br />i hate it<br />your procrastinating this for as long as you can<br />and im getting pretty antsy about it<br />cuz i know its not gunna turn out well.<br />and you on the other hand are threatening this situation<br />but with good reason<br />i love you so much as a friend, and yes<br />ive been retarded lately<br />but i didnt think you wanted to talk to me<br />uhg what other people say<br />lately ive felt like i cant trust anyone<br />i feel secluded to a world where i'm the only one<br />who tells people the truth<br />why does everyone have to put on an act&nbsp;<br />and say shit that they dont mean<br />be honest for gods sake<br />i fucking hate society<br />why is it so fucked